Get clear on what matters to YOU
There is tremendous power in clarity.
When I first read Greg McKeowen’s “Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less,” the only real clarity I had was that life felt too full of too many competing things, and it was time to do something about it. It seemed that I was living life on everyone else’s terms. I routinely found myself reacting to the needs of others and honouring what was important for them—both because I genuinely wanted to help (anyone I could, all of the time) and because I simply wasn’t clear on what mattered most to me.
“Remember that if you don’t prioritize your life someone else will.”
Those words, taken from an opening chapter of “Essentialism,” were eye opening to me. For years, I’d based my schedule around one that was created for me (both at school/work and training for sport) without checking in to see what actually was necessary and helpful for me (hello, naps and downtime). I jumped on board with excitement around other people’s projects while not committing to many of my own. I’d become great at filling needs in my community as they arose, forgetting to first check in with my husband or myself to see if I was shortchanging us.
Starting to get clear on my priorities, values, and what mattered the most to me wasn’t easy at first. My people-pleasing self worried regularly about how I’d be “letting others down” by not saying yes when they expected me to. I was afraid that setting priorities was in some way selfish. But ultimately I learned that it was not only necessary, but also unselfish and incredibly worth it.
By identifying those few things that matter most to me I’m better able to say yes only when I truly mean it (because it aligns with my values and resources). I feel more ease in life because I now choose to set boundaries around my time and energy in order to protect these exhaustible resources for the people and projects that truly light me up and help me make the world a better place. I’m clear on what I want, and continually getting better at saying no to the things that don’t align.
Maybe this resonates for you and you’re wondering where to start?
The right time is now. Find some alone time in a space where you do your best thinking (is that sitting in a favourite chair? Moving in nature? On your yoga mat?). Perhaps you might consider—always with a hearty dose of gentleness toward yourself—the following questions:
How clear am I on what matters most to me?
What’s one thing I could do that would help me gain more clarity (if needed)?
What are my values? (hint - these are the things that you’ll always step up to the plate for, even if you might get into trouble, because you believe so deeply in them)
Am I living in a way that’s aligned with my values and priorities?
What’s one thing I could start (or stop) doing that would bring me closer to honouring what matters most to me?
You—a clear, rested you—are your own best resource. If you’re looking for more on this topic, I heartily recommend “Essentialism.” May you find joy in the journey!